So its 7 am, and ive been up since 630 bc of a nightmare after going to bed at about 3am.... its kinda gross and horror-movie-ish, so if thats not your cup of tea, just skip over the next paragraph or two...

so there were 3 girls in a bathroom - two were completely drunk the other i have no earthly idea but she was very very messed up. the two drunks were just singing creapy music and falling over eachother and banging themselves on stuff accidentally and hurting themselves accidentally and laughing about the whole thing. the other chick, whos completely creapy and a half was singing different creapier music and doing to herself whatever she was singing, like literally tearing herself apart w/ her fingernails and stuff while in a pool of blood, just going crazy, idk, and the two drunk girls didnt notice or care or anything at all.

I have no idea what to think of this. Sometimes i think dreams mean something, but with this one i really really hope it doesnt. It would mean something along the lines of someone emotionally tearing themselves up like crazy and two bystanders (maybe friends?) not noticing at all or caring at all bc theyre too busy hurting themselves while having fun and not realizing the consequences of their actions.

OK: IF YOU STOPPED READING BEFORE, YOU'RE FINE NOW!

So the dream I had, was that i got prayed for about Garrett stuff - getting him out of my life, not bringing me down any further, healing from it all, etc. And it started out with one person praying for me, then it was two, then three, then some of my friends came up and were laying hands on me and laying hands on people laying hands on me(there were that many up there) and once one person was done praying, another started then another. Then the next day (in the dream) Garrett was completely gone, noone had ever heard of him, there was a different RA of 4NN, and everything. When i asked one of my friends that prayed for me what happened to Garrett, they had no idea and told me that the day before they all had prayed that a demon would leave me alone and that i would heal from everything.

It felt both like a relief and like a huge emptiness. The first thing that came to mind afterwards was when i made him promise he would stay in my life, unlike the two boyfriends before him. Thats the one thing i can count on him for, that he'll always be there, whether i want him to or not. Even if he's not emotionally there, he is physically there. It felt weird for him not to be there, and not really what i want although that's what dana and patty are trying to make me do right now.

So with Ben, who's not-yet-dating Anna (yes Ben + Anna = BenAnna), it's totally the beginning of the end, and theres nothing I can do about it. I'm pretty sure the only thing keeping me from hating this chick is the pun and the fact that Ben's in love with her. Anyways, Anna's like we(me and Ben) cant cuddle anymore, which is somewhat understandable, and then is like Ben cant give me backrubs anymore, which is somewhat less understandable and kinda mean concidering my back knots as a hobby. She kinda has him whipped w/o dating him yet. Anyways, so the obvious next progression is that she's gonna be like Ben, you hang out w/ Kate too much; Ben you talk to Kate too much...and ya then I'm out of a friend. So I'm wondering now, does it really matter who initiates this disconnection?

So I'm not really that emo of a person, except maybe occasionally, but I dont think people really appriciate my ramblings or my rantings(except Ben, but hes a little strange) so thats why i journal...and now i'm bringing it to livejournal well for kicks and giggles i suppose...